Kurushii Ayamari
by SilveryKitsune
Summary: MaRe! Rei did something that could have costed his love's life, without him knowing. Does Max forgive him, or does he not? Let's see!


Silver:  Hello!  Sorry for not updating for a long time!!  Homework had been a major hazard for me, and I'm not even in high school yet!  At least I'm glad I'm not in this other school…where you stress even more, get tons of homework than now, and live a dull stressing life!

Sorry, just providing reasons that are kind of pointless at the moment ^^;;

Disclaimer:  I do not own Beyblade or its character!  I do own the sceneries, since it was in the image of my head ^^

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**Kurushii Ayamari** – **Painful Mistake**

Why did I do it…why did I threw Max over that bridge that night…why did I had to be depressed and lonely…

_Why didn't I felt happy after releasing my anger on Max…but…isn't he the person that I only care as a friend…?_

_There seemed to be something tugging me that told me to stay away from Max…but I get that feeling rarely around people…_

But…one thing is that…whenever I actually get that feeling…I ended up falling in love…with that person…but I couldn't be gay…could I not?

As I was walking around the block, thinking about the accident I did to Max about eleven months ago…something I regretted a few months after becoming less depressed…

I heard all the crumpling of the leaves when I step on them…it was autumn, in November…the time of the readiness for winter…and the rest of the seasons to come soon.

There was only one thing that I wanted…only this one thing that I need to do…that probably could change the way I'm feeling right now…

I needed to find Max…but I haven't seen him since I threw him off the bridge…why did I do it… Why did I do what I did…it doesn't make any sense to me anymore now… 

As I felt myself making those crunching noises because of the many-variety-colored leaves.  I felt that the new coming of the season just wasn't the mood it was setting for me…

It was last December, when it was coming really close to Christmas…by about three days…probably…

**xXx Flashback xXx**

My heart started crumpling now.  Mariah, someone that I thought that I had fallen in love with, dumped me into this misery of hell.  Can't you believe I fell for the pink-blob lover?  She can be mean like the rocks, and the grayish tone that decipher her annoying babbling figure…

Why the hell did I fall for her!  That evil witch… (tempting to say *itch so much)

I was starting down at the river, looking at the frozen river, watching the dreams of Mariah and I ice-skating all morning and day…

Would have been a great dream come true… 

_WHY THE HELL DID SHE TELL ME THAT SHE DIDN'T LOVE ME?_

_I never thought that she had fallen head-over-heels for Kevin…(I don't know much about this guy…)_

For me…I thought that was creepy… 

I felt some footsteps coming near me.  I didn't feel at the moment to be opening up to someone, especially if it's pink blob we're talking about.  As the footsteps got a little louder, since the snow can decrease the sounds of it(1), might as well make whoever's going to be go away.

"Leave whoever you are."

My voice was solid cold.  If you known me for a really long time, you would know that I don't talk coldly a lot.

"Rei.  Why you say to me to leave?"

I know that voice from anywhere.  It was Max.  I can't stand sweetness sounds in my ear now.  The anger in my brain had not been forgetting.  I turned around to Max, and glared at him.  Though at first, I really didn't want to, but my eyes took over my brain's thought-processor.

"I told you, Max.  LEAVE.  ME.  ALONE."

I saw the look in Max's eye, but I didn't give a damn about it at the moment.

"Rei…what had become of you…you were so---"

I abruptly cut off Max.  I didn't want to hear any sugar-like voices now!  Those voices are evil now, and innocence couldn't be traced from that voice.

"STOP TALKING!  This is not a good day for me!"

I felt my head burning, and I felt a hand on my shoulder.  Max's hand had been placed on my shoulders.  How the hell did he thought that I gave him permission to touch me.

"Don't touch me either!"

I slapped his hand away, and his eyes started to show too much emotion.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?

"Rei…I know you're not having a good day…but don't be mean.  Cause…I have a confession to make…"

I glared at him.  What could he say to make me feel better?  My life was now on a heart-broken ride into hell.

I heard him clear his throat, and then he whispered something that I could perfectly hear.

"I love you…not brotherly love…but lover's love…please try to understand."

That had my head exploded!  First, my best friend dumps me for a creepy guy, and next, my friend has gone gay!  And worse out of everything, he loves me!  I hate this world!  I don't want to live here anymore!  I got to destroy everything in my way to my own, little world!

"You are a complete gay-ass.  DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!  DO YOU!?"

I saw Max cringed and winced, but I didn't give a damn.  He was about to say something, but I lifted him up and…

_I literally…_

_Threw Max off the bridge…_

_Head and forehead first… _

_My anger was gone…_

Then I left…never knowing that someone was in critical condition…though I heard a splash…but I let it slip my mind.

****End of the Horrible Flashback****

(I'm so sorry if Rei is a little too violent in the flashback ^^;;)

I continued walking…to the park that I have longed to see Max again…

Maybe not longed to see him…but to apologize to him… 

I really wanted to avoid this park, since I didn't want to remember those memories…the one…that I knew…it hurt both of us…

As I got to the bridge, I didn't see any signs of Max yet…

Maybe he didn't want to see my face again.  Maybe…just maybe…he moved out of Japan…to avoid me…and never see my face again…

_He did have every right to hate me…I did used him as my anger management…though I could have killed him…_

_Wait!_

I…could have killed him…it's not possible that happened, didn't it? 

I looked at the reflection of myself in the river…I didn't see myself…

I saw the devil of myself, not the light within me…but the darkness that had overcame me that day…

_Is there such thing as a real devil?  I would never know…who would have thought that?_

I heard some other crumbling of leaves, thinking it was my foot doing it…but…

How can I make crumbling noises when my feet aren't moving…? 

I turned to face a figure next to the bridge, obviously oblivious that I'm right here…

The surprising part was that… My heart flutter…when I saw this person… 

_I can't speak his name now…the guilt came to me whenever I do…_

_It was…someone I knew a long time ago…that one person involve in that incident…my anger management that time…_

Mizuhara…Max… 

I saw him…with some stitches on his cheek…forehead…

Did I really hurt him that bad…? 

I saw him…in real form…not the ones in my dreams…but the actual him…

I guessed he was too busy playing with the leaves in his hands that had fallen from the tree branches above him.

I heard him sneered for a moment…

Why is he sneering at the leaves…? 

"I guess Rei didn't come after all.  I guess my confession was a bit overwhelming for him…"

Yes, I was overwhelming, Max…but you should have known that I was taking my anger on you…because of Mariah…

"Pity…I guess I'm not loved anymore…why did mom and dad leaved me alone…in this cold and bloody world…"

What…!  His parents…weren't with him through his suffering? 

I saw Max, ripping the poor leaf in half, glaring at the river.

"Why did that dumb-ass (sorry if it's too violent for Maxie) drunk driver…had to kill the only people…that loved me…more than anything…"

I saw his tears, slowly streaming down from his eyes…

All the crystallized water…from such an innocence boy… 

He started to wipe his tears away.  I never thought that his parents died already…

"More importantly…why did…Rei not come…"

He…wanted to see me…after all I had done to him…? 

I saw Max, dipping his hand into the river, and look at himself in the little puddle in his hands…

"I…wanted to take back everything…I said about you…start over with my life again…forget everyone else…"

_…I don't want you to take back everything, Max…_

_You were the only person…that ever had to guts…to say you love me…to try calm me down…_

You can't forget everything Max…we all need you here…you aren't thinking of what I'm thinking, are you?

"Soon…it will be sayounara for me…forever from Japan…"

…You can't leave Japan!  You just can't!  Please, notice me!  I'm front on the bridge, look diagonally from you!  Onegai…

"Tyson…Kai…Mariah…Kevin…Lee…Emily…Spencer…everyone else…most importantly…Rei…"

I was still listening every word…

"Forgive me…it'll be better…for you guys…without me…"

I saw him getting up from his spot, and started to walk the other way from where I am…

No…it won't be better without you…it'll be worse…stop Max…please! 

Max hadn't stopped, but he was almost out of my eyes…

I couldn't let him walk out of life like that…I can't keep him away…out of my life… 

_Wait…_

_My heart…it's yearning for Max…maybe…just maybe…his confession hadn't gone to waste…I just notice that…_

I do love him…too dearly…I can't let him go! 

I felt my legs move on their own, and catching up to Max…

You're more importantly to me…than anything else…you should forgive me for all the suffering I put you through!

"Max!!  Wait up!"

I couldn't believe that I just spoke…I haven't for a long time…all I ever did was think… 

I saw that he stopped and turned to me.  His eyes…

They're not the joyful ocean eyes…but the fearful, blueberry ones… 

"…Rei…?"

I couldn't help but put my arms around his shoulders.  I missed him…so much more…than anyone could have imagined…

"Don't leave us…don't leave Japan…don't leave…me…"

I could feel my tears falling on Max's shoulders. 

Deep in my heart…Max is the only one…that could complete me… 

His arms began to move, and it drapes under my arms, and to the end of my spine.

I decided to continue…

"**You aren't the only one lonely…** ::hiccup(ones when you cry):: **I missed you** ::hiccup:: **more** ::hiccup:: **than you** ::hiccup:: **_can imagine…"_**

****

I felt him moving, tilting his head to meet my eyes.  I could see his eyes…

Though it was watery…his life-like ocean eyes came back… 

"Rei…that means more to me…than anything in this world…"

I felt myself smile, and I look down to see his face, smiling like I am.

"Forgive me?  Your confession hadn't gone to waste…don't take anything back…"

I felt his head resting against the area around my shoulder and neck.

"Of course I forgive you, Rei…I promise…I won't take anything back now…"

I reached over to cup the back of Max's head, and I pull him into a kiss, and confessed as well…

"Forever…you're mine…I love you so much…"

I felt Max mumble his love as we were throwing out our love for each other into each other.  I felt the variations of leaves falling over me, spreading the joy that Max and I shared at the moment…

A valuable lesson I did learn… 

_You never know what happens to your friend or love…until you gather your courage and speak out your feelings…_

_I couldn't be even happier…than what I already have…_

_My tenshi…koibito…Max-chan…_

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**_~*~*~THE END~*~*~_**__

Silver: How was this?  This is probably the first time that I have written something like this…I'm more with sceneries than the other parts really ^^;;  Please review and tell me what you think of this ^^  This is 9 pages, just to tell you ^^

xXx Silver-chan xXx


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